Friday, December 26, 2008

Christ is born in Bethlehem

The following are some wonderful and insightful words from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland on Christ's birth. In it, I think that he successfully describes aspects of the nativity that we maybe do not think of when we think of Christ's birth, but that add depth and reality and an increased awe at how it took place. Enjoy at this, the Christmas season.
~Carmen

"There are so many lessons to be learned from the sacred account of Christ’s birth that we always hesitate to emphasize one without considering all the others. Forgive me while I do just that in the time we have together here.

One impression which has persisted with me recently is that this is a story of intense poverty. I wonder if Luke did not have some special meaning when he wrote not “there was no room in the inn” but specifically that “there was no room for them in the inn.” (Luke 2:7.) We cannot be certain, but I would guess that money could buy influence in those days as well as in our own. I think if Joseph and Mary had been people of importance or wealth, they would have found lodging even at that busy time of year.

I have wondered if the Inspired Version also was suggesting they did not know any influential people when it says, “there was none to give room for them in the inn.” (JST, Luke 2:7.)

We cannot be certain what the historian intended, but we do know these two were desperately poor. At the purification offering which the parents made after the child’s birth, a turtledove was substituted for the required lamb, a substitution the Lord had allowed in the Law of Moses to ease the burden of the truly impoverished. (See Lev. 12:8.)

The wise men did come later bearing gifts, adding some splendor and wealth to this occasion, but it is important to note that they came from a distance, probably Persia, a trip of several hundred kilometers at the very least. Unless they started long before the star appeared, it is highly unlikely that they arrived on the night of the babe’s birth. Indeed, Matthew records that when they came Jesus was “a young child” and the family was living in “a house.” (Matt. 2:11.)

Perhaps this provides an important distinction we should remember in our own holiday season. Maybe the purchasing and the making and the wrapping and the decorating should be separated, if only slightly, from the more quiet, personal moments when we consider the meaning of the Baby (and his birth) who prompts the giving of such gifts.

The gold, frankincense, and myrrh were humbly given and appreciated. And so our gifts should be, every year and always. As my wife and children can testify, no one gets more giddy about the giving and receiving of presents than I do.

But for that very reason I, like you, need to remember the very plain scene, even the poverty, of a night devoid of tinsel or wrapping or goods of this world. Only when we see that single, sacred, unadorned object of our devotion—the Babe of Bethlehem—will we know why the giving of gifts is so appropriate.

As a father I have recently begun to think more often of Joseph, that strong, silent, almost unknown man who must have been more worthy than any other mortal man to be the guiding foster father of the living Son of God. It was Joseph selected from among all men who would teach Jesus to work. It was Joseph who taught him the books of the law. It was Joseph who, in the seclusion of the shop, helped him begin to understand who he was and ultimately what he was to become.

I was a student at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah just finishing my first year of graduate work when our first child, a son, was born. We were very poor, though not as poor as Joseph and Mary. My wife and I were both going to school, both working and in addition we worked as head residents in an off-campus apartment complex to help pay our rent. We drove a little Volkswagen which had a half-dead battery because we couldn’t afford a new one (Volkswagen or battery!).

Nevertheless, when I realized that our own special night was coming, I believe I would have done any honorable thing in this world, and mortgaged my future, to make sure my wife had the clean sheets, the sterile utensils, the attentive nurses, and the skilled doctors who brought forth our firstborn son. If she or that child had needed special care at the finest private medical center I believe I would have ransomed my very life to get it.

I compare those feelings (which I have had with each succeeding child) with what Joseph must have felt as he moved through the streets of a city not his own, with not a friend or kinsman in sight, nor anyone willing to extend a helping hand. In these very last and most painful hours of her “confinement,” Mary had ridden or walked approximately 160 kilometers from Nazareth in Galilee to Bethlehem in Judea. Surely Joseph must have wept at her silent courage. Now, alone and unnoticed, they had to descend from human company to a stable, a grotto full of animals, there to bring forth the Son of God.

I wonder what emotions Joseph might have had as he cleared away the dung and debris. I wonder if he felt the sting of tears as he hurriedly tried to find the cleanest straw and hold the animals back. I wonder if he wondered: “Could there be a more unhealthy, a more disease-ridden, a more despicable circumstance in which a child could be born? Is this a place fit for a king? Should the mother of the Son of God be asked to enter the valley of the shadow of death (Ps. 23:4) in such a foul and unfamiliar place as this? Is it wrong to wish her some comfort? Is it right He should be born here?”

But I am certain Joseph did not mutter and Mary did not wail. They knew a great deal more and did the best they could.

Perhaps these parents knew even then that in the beginning of his mortal life, as well as in the end, this baby son born to them would have to descend beneath every human pain and disappointment. He would do so to help those who also felt they had been born without advantage.

I’ve thought of Mary, too, this most favored mortal woman in the history of the world, who as a mere child received an angel who uttered to her those words that would change the course not only of her own life but also that of all human history: “Hail, thou virgin, who art highly favored of the Lord. The Lord is with thee; for thou art chosen and blessed among women.” (JST, Luke 1:28.) The nature of her spirit and the depth of her preparation were revealed in a response that shows both innocence and maturity: “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.” (Luke 1:38.)

It is here I stumble, here that I grasp for the feelings a mother has when she knows she has conceived a living soul, feels life begin and grow within her womb, and carries a child to delivery. At such times fathers stand aside and watch, but mothers feel and never forget. Again, I’ve thought of Luke’s careful phrasing about that holy night in Bethlehem:

“The days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

“And she brought forth her first born son and (she) wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and (she) laid him in a manger.” (Luke 2:6–7.) Those brief pronouns trumpet in our ears that, second only to the child himself, Mary is the chiefest figure, the regal queen, mother of mothers—holding center stage in this grandest of all dramatic moments. And those same pronouns also trumpet that, except for her beloved husband, she was very much alone.

I have wondered if this young woman, something of a child herself, here bearing her first baby, might have wished her mother, or an aunt, or her sister, or a friend, to be near her through her labor. Surely the birth of such a son as this should command the aid and attention of every midwife in Judea! We all might wish that someone could have held her hand, cooled her brow, and when the ordeal was over, given her rest in clean, cool linen.

But it was not to be so. With only Joseph’s inexperienced assistance, she herself brought forth her firstborn son, wrapped him in the little clothes she had knowingly brought on her journey, and perhaps laid him on a pillow of hay.

Then on both sides of the veil a heavenly host broke into song, “Glory to God in the highest,” they sang, “and on earth, peace among men of good will.” (Luke 2:14, Phillips Translation.) But except for heavenly witnesses, these three were alone: Joseph, Mary, the baby to be named Jesus.

At this focal point of all human history, a point illuminated by a new star in the heavens revealed for just such a purpose, probably no other mortal watched—none but a poor young carpenter, a beautiful virgin mother, and silent stabled animals who had not the power to utter the sacredness of what they had seen.

Shepherds would soon arrive and later, wise men would follow from the East. But first and forever there was just a little family, without toys or trees or tinsel. With a baby—that’s how Christmas began.

It is for this baby that we should shout in chorus: “Hark the herald angels Sing Glory to the newborn King! Mild he lays his glory by, Born that man no more may die: Born to raise the sons of earth, Born to give them second birth.” (Hymns no. 60.)

Perhaps recalling the circumstances of that gift, of his birth, of his own childhood, perhaps remembering that purity and faith and genuine humility will be required of every celestial soul, Jesus must have said many times as he looked into the eyes of the children that loved him (eyes that always best saw what and who he really was), “except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.” (Matt. 18:3.)

Christmas, then, is for children—of all ages. I suppose that is why my favorite Christmas carol is a child’s song. I sing it with more emotion than any other:

Away in a manger, no crib for his bed.
The little Lord Jesus laid down his wee head. …
I love thee, Lord Jesus, look down from the sky
And stay by my side until morning is night …
Be near me, Lord Jesus, I ask thee to stay
Close by me forever and love me, I pray.
Bless all the dear children in thy tender care.
And take us to heaven to live with thee there. "(Sing with Me, p. F–2.)

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Marriage

Ever since I can remember I've devoted a lot of thought to what marriage should be.

My parents divorced when I was nine. When they broke the news to us, I didn't even know what divorce was. As a teenager and beyond I have to say I analyzed everything I knew about their marriage from my own memories and from both of my parents "side" of the story over and over again. I watched my mom get married again and get divorced again, more data to mull over. I looked at both sets of grandparents (who are both past the 50th anniversary mark). Through high school and college my second family was my boyfriend, Cody's, family. I spent a lot of time with his parents and two married siblings. I have now spent the last five years looking at my husband, Curt's, parent's relationship.

I can safely say that most teenagers don't put much thought into the institution of marriage and how it plays into and affects family...but I can honestly say I put more than a decade of intense thought into the subject before I did marry. I was quiet about it. For something I thought about so often you would think that it would have made it into more conversations, but it was a deeply personal and sensitive subject for me.

I will share just a tiny slice of my conclusions here, but really, if I truly recorded all of them it would take up a book. Also...please don't take any of my statements to be feelings of condemnation. While I have strong feelings of what is right and try my very best to live them as not to be a hypocrite, I would be a sad and bitter person if I somehow thought it was my place to judge others based on this list...especially in this day and age.

1. The decision to marry is probably the most important decision in life. It affects everything.
It is not something to take lightly or quickly. Even if you date for a really long time, you cannot know everything about a person, but you have a better chance of gauging if you do have a lot of time. You also can have a cooler head if you can chill on the physical side, I already posted here about that.

2. Commitment is vital. Marriage should be approached with the attitude that it really is permanent. Divorce just cannot be a fall back. (Disclaimer: there are cases where divorce is appropriate, but they are rare, like really severely rare. Like one person is crazy rare.) I have had some real eye opening experiences lately on how typical people currently view marriage. When learning that I quit my project manager job to move here so that my husband could go to grad school, they say things like "that was nice, I wouldn't do that", "I wouldn't sacrifice my career for a spouse", or the best one (read stupidest, and yes, they really did say this) "well at least if he makes more money you'll get better alimony". WHAT!?! Are you kidding me? How sad that it is just assumed that all marriage ends in divorce, the only variance being how long it lasts.

3. Communication is absolutely key. It has always surprised me when I hear comments from one or the other of a couple insinuating that there are things that they do/buy/think that their spouse does not know about. Sometimes they blame the gender gap, thinking that it is just natural that they don't think the same. Sometimes there's an assumption that they just wouldn't understand (i.e. is not smart enough in an area, like with finances). Sometimes the excluded spouse is perfectly inclined to the exclusion. This is ridiculous. In my opinion there is no room for this in a marriage that functions how marriage was intended to work.
There needs to be talk, there needs to be real input from both spouses on child rearing, budgets, politics, everything. Talk. Know who the heck you married. Even if you are terrible with money, it does not excuse you from knowing what is going on and being a budget participant, otherwise you are just a lazy drain. You are missing out on the best your marriage could be.

I think this is as long as I am going to post today, this is the basics. Like I said, I could probably go on and on and on. I will probably do more posts on this topic over time.